


Is There a Way?

by Discovery929



Category: Janet King (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24017311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Discovery929/pseuds/Discovery929
Summary: I'm still missing these gorgeous ladies. Nothing is a substitute for the real thing, but writing about them is mildly therapeutic.
Comments: 36
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

Four months of feeling miserable had passed since Bianca walked away from Janet. Having a high pressure job helped, but away from work, thoughts of Janet and the children were never far from her mind. 

Now, on the news, was a report of the latest successful major crime prosecution. And there looking out from the screen was the woman she loved. She re-wound the video, pausing it when Janet appeared outside the court. Seeing her right there magnified the misery of what she had lost. The passion, the giggles, meals shared, the boisterous twins. 

Thinking back to the times Janet had pushed her aside, those hurts seemed trivial compared to what she was still going through without her. “I think you’ve been a fool, Grieve. Why couldn’t you accept her as she is, and work on it?”

Should she contact the lover she could not get out of her head? Would she even want to hear from her? Had she moved on? Bianca doubted it. Janet did not easily embrace emotional relationships. Her tendency to so often walk on people’s feelings, was evidence enough of that.

What to say? She certainly wouldn’t want to appear to be the “needy” person she had spoken of when they had their last row. “Nah. Leave it alone.” She shut down the computer and went to bed.

Sleep wouldn’t come and she tossed and turned, imagining Janet snuggled in beside her. Chamomile helped, and at last she fell into an uneasy sleep.

In the morning, heart racing, she texted Janet. “Congrats on the case. Well done you!” Did she dare hope for a response? It was hard to concentrate at work, but there was surveillance to organise, so she had to shake off thoughts of Janet. 

Come dinner time, still nothing. She picked around her food, feeling more than a little foolish. Standing under the warmth of the shower didn’t soothe the ache inside. Impossible to erase memories of bath-times shared.

Her heart jumped into her throat at the sound of her mobile. Her younger sister, Linda. She tried to hide her disappointment. “Hey, Kiddo.” Linda was not fooled. “Hey, yourself. Were you expecting someone else?”  
Bianca sighed. “I texted Janet this morning.”  
“Oh, I see. So, you are still pining for her.”  
“Not easy to fall out of love.”  
“I don’t understand. It’s not like you to walk away from a difficult situation. If you love her, what on earth got into you?”  
“Like I told you at the time, Janet seems to be forever obsessed with one project or another, and I felt ignored. I thought it wasn’t enough, but nothing at all is a whole lot worse. I expected her to know how I felt. I guess she needs things spelt out.”  
“Well, I hope she answers, and you can work things out, if that’s what you really want.”  
“Yeah, me, too.” 

After a bit more chat, Linda declared that she was off to watch the latest episode of “A Place to Call Home”. She expected to hear immediately of any developments on the Janet front. 

Bianca was about to go to bed when a message came through. Janet! “Thanks. It was a good outcome.” That was all. Oh, well, at least it was a response.

Chamomile and a comedy on TV helped her to settle, and in spite of her disappointment, she slept quite well.

Before she left for work in the morning, she got brave and texted Janet again. “Can we meet for coffee?” 

As she was about to start the car, Janet replied. “I thought you only drank tea!!”

Rather than text back, Bianca rang. “Coffee, tea, my treat. Will you?” Somewhat awkwardly, they arranged to meet the next afternoon at their favourite cafe.

Janet was late, as she so often was - more tasks than would fit in the day. “Sorry. I got held up in court.” Bianca grinned. “You didn’t?!” Janet rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I know. Par for the course.”

After Bianca had placed their order, they sat in strained silence. Eventually, they both went to speak at the same time. Janet sat back. “You first.” Bianca took a deep breath. “I’ve missed you. And the kids.”

Janet frowned. “I wish you’d thought of that before charging off. It’s been really hard for the kids to understand. Liam misses you. Emma thinks it’s her fault. Liam agrees with her and I had to read the riot act to stop him raging at her.”

Bianca thought her heart would break. “Oh, God! I didn’t want to hurt them.” A flush spread over her face. “It’s been hard for me, too. I should have heard you out, but I felt so minor in your life…” Her voice faded out and Janet almost snapped back. “Yes, you should have. We didn’t get to be together as much as we would have liked, but there were times at night when you could have been straight up with me.”  
“Would it have made any difference?”  
“Possibly not, but it wasn’t fair to say you’d had no chance to talk to me since I got back from Fiji.”  
The colour drained from Bianca’s face. “No, I suppose it wasn’t.”

The waiter brought their order - just tea and coffee, they were both too tense to eat. Bianca poured her tea. Janet stared into her cup. Looking up, she fixed Bianca with those steely blue eyes. “Why are we here, Bianca? What do you want? You are the one who walked away.”  
Bianca hesitated. Should she be cautious? No!! Just come right out and say it. “I want to see if we can find a way to be together.”

Janet closed her eyes. She had missed Bianca, wanted to be with her but she wasn’t prepared to drag Liam and Emma through another break-up.

“I can’t put the twins through any more trauma, Bianca.” Fleetingly, the longing was in her eyes. “If we see each other again, they have to be kept out of it.” Bianca nodded agreement.

Janet looked at her watch. “Damn. I have to fly. Appointment in fifteen minutes.”  
“Yes, I have to be back at work, too. A late night coming up.”  
As she headed for the door Janet half turned. “Maybe meet up again. See how we go.”

Bianca hurried back to work, feeling both chastised and relieved at the same time. Safely at home after a gruelling night, she was too tired to dwell on dreams of getting back with Janet, and fell quickly into a sound sleep.

Janet leaned against the the door frame, watching her sleeping children. How peaceful they looked. Could she really risk bringing Bianca back into their lives? If she had only herself to consider, Bianca would be in her arms right now. The very thought made her tremble. But these two didn’t deserve to be caught up in the middle of an uncertain relationship. Nothing short of permanent would do. “Not sure we can get to that, Bianca. Not even sure that I want to try.”

Bianca was absolutely sure that she wanted to try. She re-lived their meeting over and over in her mind - taking hope from Janet’s apparent dismay when she realised it was time to go.

Finding time for each other around the demands of their high pressure jobs had always been difficult. Bianca’s often crazy hours had added an extra layer to that challenge. And so it proved to be again. 

The week following their meeting seemed to fly by, and just as Bianca was thinking she should call Janet, work got in the way. She was seconded to the Gold Coast, for what could be a drawn out operation. “Damn, damn, damn!!”

Oh, well, she would text Janet and hope for the best. “I have to go to the Gold Coast for work. Not sure how long. Hoping we can catch up when I get back.”

Janet, still uncertain, didn’t answer until the next day. “Let me know when you’re back. See how we feel then.”

Not the reply Bianca wanted, but at least it wasn’t a rejection.


	2. Chapter 2

Bianca’s Queensland operation dragged on for two weeks. Well, it dragged for Janet. She was so conflicted. One minute, heady with anticipation, the next, convinced it was a bad idea to meet again. “Damn you, Bianca Grieve. Is loving you worth risking more trauma?”

For Bianca, the two weeks flew by. Endless hours of intense investigations, surveillance and raids. On the job there was no time to indulge in emotional thoughts, but they did spill into what little sleep she managed. Dreams of Janet and the kids, not all of them happy. She arrived home exhausted, thankful to have four days off.  


Waking refreshed after sleeping the clock around, she allowed herself the luxury of some Janet day-dreaming. It didn’t last long - time for action. Should she text or call? Text. Give Janet time to think about her response. “I’m back. Messy job, but mission accomplished. Very glad to be home.” Now the anxious wait for an answer.

There were chores to keep her busy. Things had moved so quickly when the Gold Coast call came that she’d left the place in a bit of a mess. Once order was restored, and the washing machine in action, it was time to stock up the pantry and the empty fridge. Dawdling over the shopping did nothing to ward off her fear that Janet would decide against meeting again.

As she edged through the front door with her bags, it occurred to her that Janet had never been to visit her. Maybe she should invite her. NO! Well, not yet. That line of thought led very quickly to the bedroom, Janet naked on the queen bed that had known only Bianca’s body.

Her fantasy was interrupted by the Star Wars ring on her phone. Call from Janet. Bianca could scarcely breathe as she answered. “Janet.”  
“Glad you’re home safe n sound. I heard about the bust. Must have had some scary moments.”  
“A couple. It wasn’t too bad. It was a really top-notch team, easy to work with. So good to be home. Nothing like your own bed.” Oh, shit! She could have bitten off her tongue. Not the moment to be talking of bed. She was glad Janet couldn’t see her scarlet face.

Janet grinned to herself, knowing Bianca well enough to visualise the red face.  
“That’s for sure. When are you back at work?”  
“I have four days off, and I need them. It was pretty full-on up there.”  
“The twins are staying with the Larssons at the weekend. What if we have lunch on Saturday?”  
Bianca breathed a silent sigh of relief. “Works for me. Same place?”  
“Unless you’d rather go somewhere else.”  
“No. Food’s always good there. 12:30?’  
“Great. See you there.”

The Larssons must be back from Sweden. Deborah’s partner, Joel, had won a contract there when their baby, Finn, was eight months old. Deb’s parents had joined them a couple of months later. Bianca wondered if Deb and Joel were back, too. 

They arrived at the cafe at the same time. The meeting was not as tense as the previous one, and they were more than ready to enjoy the delicious omelettes that were the cafe specialty. 

Whilst they waited for their order, Bianca took the opportunity to ask about the Larssons. “When did the Larssons get back? Are Deb and Joel home, too?”  
“No, just Hilda and Oscar. They got back a couple of months ago. Joel’s moved on to another project in Denmark. It’s only for six months, then they’re coming home. They’re both homesick.”  
“How the time has flown. Hard to believe Finn is three already.”  
Janet’s eyes lit up. “He’s absolutely gorgeous, and getting more and more like Ash. Mannerisms and all.”  
Bianca was so glad there was no sadness in Janet’s eyes when she mentioned Ash, only delight in the little boy who was so much like her. She handed Bianca her phone. “The latest video.”  
“Oooh, he sure is getting cuter all the time. I bet the twins are looking forward to having him home.”  
“They can’t wait. But it’s good for them to have the Larssons to themselves. They didn’t get to spend much time with them when they were little. I want them to know their grandparents.”  
“Graham, too?”  
Janet grimaced. “Not that grandparent. Gone. For another twenty years, I hope.”  
Bianca hoped so, too, but no way were thoughts of Graham King going to spoil the moment. She was so happy for Janet that she had to blink away tears. 

Janet looked away from the emotion in Bianca’s eyes, afraid of betraying her own feelings.  
“Emma reminded me that it’s your birthday tomorrow.”  
“Emma did? Not Liam?”  
“Yes, Emma. She wanted to know if she should send a card.”  
Bianca could hardly get the words out. “Oh, Janet. What did you say?”  
“I said she could make a card if she wanted to, and I would post it for her. Of course, Liam got in on the act. I posted them yesterday.”

Bianca felt crushed. Not because of the cards, but because of what she had thrown away. Janet’s light touch on her arm was like an electric current. “Are you doing something special?”  
Bianca swallowed hard, pulled herself together. “Linda and James and the kids are bringing lunch. The kids have made a cake, but I’m not supposed to know about it.”  
“Ah. Cake and candles. I hope you have a great day.”  
“Why don’t you come? When do you pick up the twins?”  
Janet hesitated. Found herself wanting to say yes, but was this too much, too soon? The twins would still be with the Larssons, so she could go. What a scramble of emotions.

Bianca tried to make it easier for her. “I’d love you to come, but you can say no.”  
That familiar ‘I love you’ in Janet’s eyes, yet still she answered, “Another time, perhaps.”  
Bianca’s heart was racing. The words said no, but the eyes told her a different story. Yes, there would be another time!

At home in her empty house, Janet wondered if she should have said yes. She hadn’t met Linda and her family. It could be a fun afternoon. But then what? How long would it take for passion to get the better of them? Judging by today, not very long! Did she want to go there yet, if at all? Yes, desperately, but would it be crazy? Probably.

It was a long, sleepless night, as she agonised over what to do. Would it be better to back off before it went any further? After losing Ash, she had shut down. Then Bianca turned up, drawing out her need to be held, to be loved. Falling for her was scary, and she fought hard against it. At last, she had stopped fighting it, and found courage, (admittedly, with the help of several glasses of wine). Out of that first night of sexual release, had grown a relationship Janet had dared to see as ‘forever’. And she had thought Bianca felt the same. Then, without even hearing her out, she just walked away. What had gone so wrong for her to do that? Should she try to find out, or leave it alone? Even if they did talk, would it work out any better than before? And how would she manage the twins? The birthday cards had been a mistake. No matter how Bianca responded they would want to see her.

From sheer exhaustion sleep eventually came and she didn’t wake up until 8:30am. Breakfast was coffee and a slice of toast. Then she took a deep breath and rang Bianca. “Happy Birthday! What are you having for brekkie?”  
“Thank you! Already had it. Tea and toast, as usual. How about you? You sound sleepy.”  
“Yeah, late night. Slept in. I’ve had brekkie, too. Coffee and toast. As usual.”  
Each waited for the other to break the silence. Finally, taking another deep breath, Janet asked, “Does the lunch invitation still stand?”  
Bianca’s heart skipped. “Of course it does!! Plan is to eat about 12. Come when you’re ready.”


	3. Chapter 3

Janet arrived at Bianca’s place just before 12. She had not expected to feel quite so nervous about the occasion.

As she went to knock, the door was thrown open. Bianca had obviously been watching for her.  
“Hey.” Their eyes locked for an emotionally intense moment. Janet handed her the flowers she had picked up on the way. “Hey. Happy Birthday.” Bianca took the flowers, inhaling the fragrance of the blooms. “Thanks. They’re gorgeous.” Another charged moment as she stepped back and ushered Janet inside.

Introductions done, the children were anxious for lunch to start, impatient to get to the cake and candles displayed on the sideboard. 

Janet admired the cake. “That’s a delicious looking cake. Is that cream cheese Icing?”   
Gemma assured her that it was, and that she had made it.   
“Yum. My favourite.”  
Her sister, Kate, chimed in, “And I helped make the cake. It was a surprise for Aunty Bianca.”  
Bianca was full of praise for the girls and their project. “You both did a great job. I love it, and the candles are my favourite green.”  
The girls giggled. Gemma spluttered, “I think we know that, Aunty B. Wasn’t easy to find the right green though.”

Lunch was relaxed and fun, and finally it was time to light the candles. Bianca blew them out with one puff, much to the delight of her nieces. 

They all pitched in to clean up after the festivities, then Linda announced that they had better go, as she had a line full of washing that would be dry, and cloud was coming up. 

Alone at last, the two women stood facing each other. Bianca took Janet’s hand, stroking the inside of the wrist with her thumb. “I’m glad you came.”

The touch sent a familiar thrill though Janet. “So am I, but I have to go, too. The kids will be home soon.” Bianca nodded. “Sure. Don’t want to rush things anyway.” Nothing could be further from the truth - rush Janet to bed was exactly what she wanted to do. 

Janet grinned. “Really?” Bianca grinned back. “Well….” And they left it there. For now.

The birthday cards from the twins arrived in due course, magnifying Bianca’s feelings of guilt about walking out on them. On the front of her card, Emma had drawn stars in different colours, and printed “Happy Birthday Bianca”, in the favourite green. Inside she had drawn four people and written names under them - Mum, Liam, Emma, Bibi. Significantly, the child had herself, not Liam, next to Bianca. Her message said, “I hope you have a fun day Bibi. From Emma.”   
Bianca smiled to herself. “No Uncle Tony. Maybe Em misses me, too.” The smile faded under the weight of regret.

Liam had also put a lot of effort into making his card. Cut-out characters from the computer games Bianca had played with him were stuck on the front of the card. Inside he had printed, “Happy Birthday Bibi. I miss playing our games. Love from Liam.” Heart-wrenching stuff.

Later, when the twins would be asleep, Bianca called Janet. “I got the cards today. Did you oversee the making?”  
“No. I didn’t want to influence them.”  
“But you did see them?”  
“Of course.”  
“And you are ok with the messages?.”  
“I told you, it’s been hard on them. I let them decide what to say.”  
“We need to talk. Any ideas about when we can catch up again?”  
“Let me know your work schedule for the week. Tony hasn’t been around for a while.”   
She chuckled. “The other day he joked about whether he is on the outer with the kids. He must be missing being the go-to uncle!”   
Bianca laughed, too. “Poor Tony. Can’t have him feeling neglected. I’ll get back to you. In the meantime I’ve sent them a thank you note each.” 

The call finished, Janet sat staring at the phone. The mere sound of Bianca’s voice had set her heart pounding. No doubt in her mind as to where they were headed. All very well on the physical side, but could they sustain the long-term relationship they both wanted? She still had an uneasy feeling that it might have been a mistake to rekindle the flame.

Emma came down wanting to be cuddled. “I had a dream. We were at the beach with Bianca, and a big wave knocked me over. I went under and Bianca pulled me out. It was scary.” Janet wrapped her arms tightly around her.  
The little girl snuggled closer. “Do you think she liked the cards?”  
“I’m sure she did. And I’m sure she’ll be in touch to say thank you.”  
“Do you miss her?”  
Janet closed her eyes. “Sometimes I do.” Emma didn’t need to know how much!  
“I wish she would come back. Then you would be happy again.” 

Janet was floored. Had her heartache been so obvious to her children? She thought she had continued as usual, hiding her pain from them. Clearly, not so. Did Liam also see through the brave front?

She tipped Emma’s chin, kissed her on the forehead. “I’m happy, Em. We still do lots of fun things.”  
“Not happy like you were when Bianca was here.” Janet was stunned by her daughter’s perception, disturbed by what must still be going on in her young mind so long after the break-up.  
“Sometimes things just don’t work out between grown-ups. When that happens, we need to be happy with what we have.” She held Emma’s face in her hands. “And I have the two best kids in the world!”

Emma giggled softly, and snuggled back in. “Sometimes you say we are a pain in the neck.”  
“That’s because sometimes you are. But you’re still my best. And now the best thing is for you to try to get back to sleep. Come on, I’ll tuck you in.” 

She sat on the floor next to Emma’s bed until she fell asleep, then went downstairs and poured a glass of wine - she needed it! How was she going to handle this?

Call Bianca and hope she wasn’t already asleep. The phone only rang once. “Janet - is everything ok?”  
“Oh, good, you’re still awake. We need to talk about the kids. Are you free tomorrow night?”  
“Should be. I have a desk full of paperwork. Not expecting to be out of the office all day. Do you want to come over?”  
“Yes. I’ll see if Tony can watch the kids. If not, I’m sure Mum will come.”

Janet coming over again filled Bianca with anticipation, heavily tinged with concern as to what had triggered the urgency to talk. “Let me know when you’ve sorted it.”  
“Tony is a bit of a night-owl, I’ll give him a call now.”

It took only five minutes to get Tony on board and return to Bianca. “He’s more than happy to come to the rescue. ”  
“That’s great. I’ll pick up pasta on the way home.”  
“Thanks. See you about six. Let’s hope I don’t get held up.”  
“That would not be unusual. Pasta will keep. See you then.”

Both women managed to be on time. Once inside and freshened up, they tucked in to the pasta while Janet recounted last night’s episode with Emma. Bianca was as stunned as Janet had been. “Oh, Janet. That’s too much for Em to be having to deal with.” She sighed deeply. “I feel so guilty for putting her through all this.”

Janet gently took her hand. “I know, I know. But it’s too late for that. We have to decide what we are going to do.” The touch was, as always, electric. Bianca slowly withdrew her hand and got up to make tea and coffee. They would both have loved wine, but Janet had to drive.

As they sat side by side on the lounge, mugs on the coffee table, Bianca broke the silence. “This is going to take a lot of serious thought. We have to make sure we don’t make things worse for Emma. And for Liam.”  
“Yes, we do. I was so tempted to tell Em that you might be coming back, but we have to be sure before doing that.”

They sat in silence, drinking their tea and coffee. Drinks finished, they continued to sit quietly, each immersed in her own thoughts, until Janet stirred, gathered the mugs and took them to the sink. Bianca came up behind her, massaged the tenseness in her shoulders. Leaning back into her was almost involuntary for Janet. Bianca murmured in her ear, “I want to make love to you, Janet. Desperately.” Janet’s response was to sink further back against her. 

Bianca turned her around, kissed her. Gently lingering at first, then they both went a little wild. Clothes were discarded along the way, as Bianca guided her lover to the bedroom, where she had so often fantasised about having her naked on the bed. Now the fantasy was reality, the slender body responding with abandon to her touch. As Bianca sat astride her, Janet cupped her hand around one excited breast. With an ecstatic moan, Bianca collapsed beside her. Too late for Janet’s worry about rekindling the flame. 

But what of the future? Could there be a lasting relationship? Most of all, how to deal with the twins?


	4. Chapter 4

Liam and Emma were thrilled to get the thank you notes from Bianca, delighted that she said how much she loved their cards. Once their excitement died down, they were unusually quiet, watching their favourite show without any rowdy running commentary. 

Screen time over, Liam announced he would go first in the shower, and disappeared upstairs. Emma talked Janet into doing some more of the jigsaw they had been working on for a few days, and headed for the shower when Liam reappeared.

Not normally the clingy one, he plopped in his mother’s lap, wrapping his arms around her neck. Janet held him in a tight hug, acutely aware that Bianca was at the heart of his need to be close. He wriggled off her lap, her arm still around him. “Now Bianca knows Emma doesn’t hate her, and we are thinking about her, will she come back?”  
“Liam, it’s not Emma’s fault. I have explained that to you lots of times. Bianca has never thought that Emma hates her.” She still had to answer his question. What to say? While she was still trying to find the words, he asked again, “Do you think she will?”  
“Things went wrong between us. That sometimes happens with grown-ups.”  
“You always tell us to say sorry and start again. Won’t that fix it?”

Janet felt as if she were in sinking in quicksand. Could they fix it? That was yet to be seen. The flame being well and truly alight was never going to be enough. Incredible, but not enough. She hugged him to her. “When we are wrong, we do need to say sorry. Most times you can start over, but not always. Bianca was thrilled with your cards. Let’s give it some more time.”  
“I don’t get it. Can’t you tell her we want her back?”  
“it’s not that simple, Liam. I know it’s hard for you to understand. Just be patient.”  
He wasn’t letting it go. “So you might fix it?”  
No point in getting his hopes up just yet. “I don’t think so, but I have learnt not to say ‘never’.” 

It seemed that was enough for him. He grinned and jumped up, just as his sister came down, ready for bed. Janet breathed a sigh of relief and hurried them off upstairs. Even though they were both capable of reading for themselves, they still liked the nightly story ritual. Tonight, Janet was more than willing to be badgered into extra stories, reading until they fell asleep. No more questions.

During the next two weeks there was no opportunity for the lovers to be lovers. However, they did get to meet for three short lunch breaks, most of the talk being about the twins. Doing what was best for Liam and Emma, had them sharing thoughts and feelings on a whole new level. Hope was growing, but Janet was still some way from letting the kids know.

Bianca’s struggle with feelings of guilt continued. She got to thinking how different things may have turned out, had these discussions happened before Janet had asked her to move in. But her next thought was that without the break, Emma would still be resenting her, instead of wanting her back to make her mum happy! 

After two hectic work weekends in a row, Bianca finally got to have time off. Heady with anticipation, she called Janet.  
“I have some days off. Want to come over for an old-fashioned dinner?”  
“You mean you are cooking?”  
“Yes. Don’t sound so surprised.”  
“What’s on the menu?”  
“You’ll find out when you get here. Can you come?”  
“If you make it Friday. The kids are having a sleep-over with Mum.”

After the luxury of sleeping in, Bianca devoted Friday afternoon to setting the scene for a romantic dinner. Flowers, candles, and Janet’s favourite wine - 19 Crimes. They had often joked about how fitting it was for the pair of them. The meal was simple - corned beef with cabbage, baby potatoes, carrots and mustard sauce. No need to spend all day in the kitchen.

Janet was suitably impressed. “Wow, you have turned it on! What’s this old-time dinner you promised me?”  
“Sit yourself down, and you will see.” Bianca had dished up and put the meals in the oven just before Janet arrived. Now she played the waitress with a flourish. “My Gran’s favourite.”  
“Corned beef and cabbage!” Janet exclaimed in delight. “My Nana’s fave, too! I haven’t had it in years. Looks soooo good.”

Bianca brought out the wine. Janet raised an eyebrow, tried not to smirk. Bianca didn’t even try, saying softly, “Yes, I’m hoping you are staying the night. If not, we can skip the wine.”  
Janet allowed the smirk. “I did come by taxi.”  
Bianca poured the wine.

There was not much talk during dinner. When they had finished, Janet reached for Bianca’s hand. “Thank you for all this.”  
“My pleasure.”  
“Let’s not clear up yet. The candles are still burning.”  
Bianca went to pour more wine but Janet put her hand over her glass. “No more for me, or I’ll be asleep.” That heart-melting look again. “And sleep is farther down the menu.”  
Bianca pushed back her chair. “Forget the candles. And the dishes. Tomorrow is another day.”

She blew out the candles, then drew Janet to her feet, kissing her lightly. “No more candle-gazing, we have better things to do.”  
A bit wobbly in the legs, Janet hugged her. “Yes, we do.”

They lay side by side, holding hands, mellow and content. Bianca lifted Janet’s hand to her lips. “I like having you in my bed.”  
Janet kissed her palm. “I like having you in mine, too.”  
Bianca sighed. “That doesn’t look like happening for a while.”  
”You don’t think we’re making progress?”  
Bianca grinned. “Oh, excellent progress. We are very good together.”  
Janet pulled a face. “Don’t be smart. You know what I mean.”  
Bianca smoothed back the tousled blonde hair. “I think being focused on Em and Liam has brought us closer than we ever were before.”  
Janet yawned and snuggled in. “It has.”  
Bianca kissed the top of her head. “You need to sleep. We can talk more tomorrow.”  
Janet lifted her head for a proper kiss. A little smile played at the corners of her mouth as she drifted off to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

It was still dark when Janet woke up. Getting out of bed very carefully so as not to wake Bianca, she headed to the bathroom, grabbing t-shirt and undies as she went. She smiled to herself, enjoying the freedom to walk around naked without children to consider.

Her heart was full as she surveyed the table they had left uncleared. Rose fragrance was still in the air, the lingering intimacy of dinner almost tangible. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, wrapping herself in the warmth of the fire that had followed. 

A smile spread across her face. “Day-dreaming is nice, woman, but might be an idea to get on with cleaning up.” But first, on with the kettle. Coffee was calling.

It occurred to her that in all the time they had been together it was only now, after the break-up, that she had visited Bianca. It had always been Bianca fitting in with her and the twins. They should talk about that.

As she finished putting away the dishes, Bianca wandered out, still deliciously naked.   
Feigning dismay, she gushed, “Oh, I’ve missed out on the cleaning up. What a shame.”   
Janet grinned. “I can see how sorry you are.” She smacked her bare bottom, the smack turning into a caress. “Don’t tempt me, girl. Get dressed! “  
With a wicked smirk, Bianca reached under her lover’s t-shirt. “Maybe I want to tempt you.”

Hard as it was, Janet resisted, removing the hand and, still holding it, backed away a little. “Later. Go cover that sexy body so we can talk.”  
Bianca pulled her back in. “We can talk in bed. After I’ve had my way with you.”  
Janet giggled, all resolve crumbling, and buried her head in Bianca’s shoulder. “You are such a bully, Grieve.”  
Bianca ran her tongue around the ear so close to her chin, and breathed, “Oh, yes, I know. So forceful and bossy.”   
Janet trembled with delight and propped Bianca against the table, kissing her with a passion that belied her attempted resistance. 

Back on the bed, she rolled into Bianca. “Having your way is a two-way street.”  
“It had better be!”   
It was, but more leisurely than the night before. Fulfilled and spent, still entwined, they fell asleep again.

Janet stirred, moved Bianca’s head from her shoulder. Bianca opened her eyes - what joy for Janet to be the first thing she saw. “Morning, m’love.”  
They had not used endearments since their reunion, but it came out with ease. Surely a good sign?  
Janet propped on one elbow. “Good morning.” She rolled her eyes. “So much for talking in bed.”  
Bianca reached up and kissed her, slowly, lovingly without desire. “Would you have preferred talk?”  
“Oh, very funny. Now I’m hungry, time for brekkie.”  
“I’ll be in that. I haven’t even had tea.”   
They decided against a “hearty” breakfast, sticking to their standard tea/coffee and toast. 

Breakfast done, they showered and settled on the lounge, sitting at each end so that they could face each other. Janet jumped right in. “What really made you walk away, Bianca?”  
Although she had gone over and over it in her mind, Bianca took a while to answer, searching for clarity.  
“It wasn’t any one thing, Janet. I guess the main part was feeling invisible too many times. You can be very single focused.”  
Janet pondered that, trying to see it from Bianca’s point of view. “I do throw myself into things I believe in. Isn’t that a good thing? But being here with you, I have realised that you did all the fitting in.”  
Bianca moved closer, put a hand on her arm.“No, no. That was never a problem for me. You have two children. We had to fit us around them.” This was going to be harder than she had thought. “And yes, of course it’s a good thing that you fight for causes you believe in.”  
“Then what?”  
“I don’t want to drag up a lot of old stuff, but there doesn’t seem to be any getting away from it. Are you okay with that?”  
“Yes. Yes! I want to understand what went so wrong.”

They went over some of the times Janet had pushed Bianca away. Bianca was very clear about why she had felt hurt, sometimes slighted. Janet tried to see it, but some of it seemed petty to her and she said so. Bianca conceded that in isolation, some things did seem that way. It was the cumulative effect that had weighed her down.

And then there was Graham. Dissecting that episode in detail was painful, more so for Janet as it started to dawn on her just how unreasonable she had been. By the time they moved on to the night Bianca had walked out of Janet’s house, saying she couldn’t do it anymore, Janet was beginning to see where Bianca was coming from. But here, Bianca said that she thought she had come with romantic, unrealistic expectations. 

From her new insight, Janet disagreed, and they had a competition as to who should have done what, finally seeing the humorous side of it, hugging and dissolving in giggles. Enough of deep and meaningful for now.

Breaking away from the embrace, Janet asked. “Want to go to the beach?”  
“What?! The beach?”  
“You know, that place where you can run along barefoot, splashing as you go.”  
Bianca grinned. “Ah, yeah, I know the place. Why now?”  
“Why not? Fresh air, exercise, clear the mind.”   
“Well, if you want to, why not, indeed.”


	6. Chapter 6

Just as the two women were about to leave for the beach, Robyn rang to say the twins wanted to stay another night. Her neighbour, Rose, had been called away to a medical emergency in the family, and Robyn was looking after her dog, Milly. “You know how much they want a dog, so that’s the big attraction.”  
Janet laughed. “And you come a very distant second!”   
Robyn agreed. “Yeah, gotta get your priorities straight. Do you want me to drop them off in the morning?”  
“Nah, thanks. I’ll pick them up after lunch if that’s okay with you.”  
“That’s fine. No need to hurry.”

Bianca had the gist of the conversation. “So, we have more time than we thought. Bonus!”  
“We have. No need to rush back from the beach.”

How exhilarating it was to jog a couple of kilometres along the beach then, hand-in-hand, walk back with the water lapping at their feet. After washing off the sand, they went back to the car for towel and sandals. 

Bianca tossed the towel into the boot and turned to Janet. “Do you want to eat out or go home?”  
“What if we go to my place and I can grab another change of clothes?”  
“I was thinking corned beef and pickle sandwiches.”  
“Yum! Oh, yes.” Her eyes sparkled. “After that, maybe you can bring a change of clothes to my place.”

Go home with Janet. That had seemed quite a way off and Bianca felt inexplicably uneasy about it. It was what they were working toward, so what was the problem? Janet saw the unease, put an arm around her waist. “You don’t want to?”  
“It feels strange. Can’t put my finger on why.”  
“Perhaps because of the trauma last time you came?”   
“Perhaps. Or because I’m scared I don’t really belong there.”  
Janet tightened her hold and said gently, “My place or yours, makes no difference to belonging.”  
Bianca returned the half-hug. “That’s true. I’m being irrational.”

In spite of her efforts to stay calm, Bianca had to take a very deep breath as Janet opened the door. Inside, was a surprise - the room had been re-arranged. “Wow! You’ve been busy. What brought this on?”  
“Do you like it?”  
“Yes, it’s great. But it was good the way it was. Why did you change it?”  
Janet took both her hands, lifting them to her lips. “I didn’t want to keep seeing you everywhere. Thought a makeover would help.”  
“And did it?”   
“Not much, but the project kept me occupied for a while.”  
“The Namatjira is new. Looks fantastic there.”  
“Yeah, it does. I’ve always loved that one, so decided to treat myself.” 

She flopped on the lounge, stretching her arms above her head. “I didn’t realise the kids had seen his art at school. They couldn’t wait to tell the other kids about it.”   
Leaving a little distance between them, Bianca sat, too. “What are we going to do about the kids? I feel guilty, as if we’re deceiving them.”  
“I don’t see it as deception. More protection, against letting them down.” She moved close, linking arms. “I love you, Bianca, and I know you love me. We need to be sure it’s enough before bring the twins into it.”  
“You’re right, of course. We need to get through a few weeks of fitting in around our crazy jobs.”  
“I hope we can do this. I’m glad you’ve spelt out how things have affected you.” She smiled, a crooked little smile. “But I can’t promise I won’t disappoint you sometimes.”

Bianca hugged her. “I can’t promise you that, either. Relationships have bumps. We’ll both cause them.”  
Janet kissed her, sat back and searched her face. “Hmmm, that said, how are you feeling about being here?”  
“More comfortable than I expected. Weird without Liam and Em.”  
“But it’s nice to have all this time to ourselves.”  
“Yes, we’ve never had a whole day before.” She touched Janet’s cheek. “No pressure, no interruptions. Getting to know each other.”   
A smile lit Janet’s face as she sang softly, “Getting to know you, getting to know all about you.” Just as softly, Bianca sang the next line, “Getting to like you, getting to hope you like me.”

To their delight, they discovered that they had both seen the stage production of “The King and I” at the Opera House in 2014. And on the same night! Janet and Ash, Bianca and Linda. As they reminisced about the experience, a fleeting shadow crossed Janet’s face and she rested her head on Bianca’s shoulder. 

After a few minutes, Bianca kissed the top of her head, then tilted her chin. “I’m sorry the memory makes you sad.”  
“Sometimes it grabs me. I’ll be fine.”  
“And until you’re fine, I’m glad it’s my shoulder you’re leaning on.”  
“Me, too. But I don’t want to spend this time being sad.”  
Bianca held her close. “What if I were the one feeling sad?” She held her breath, not sure the answer would be what she wanted to hear. 

But Janet got it, smiled ruefully. “I would want to hold you for as long as you needed. And wish I could kiss it better, like a graze on Liam’s knee.”  
Bianca could breathe again. “Exactly. I so wish I could kiss it better.” She loosened her hold a little. “What I can do, is make us some chamomile. If you still have some, that is.”  
Janet screwed up her nose, as she always did when Bianca teased her about chamomile, but surprised her by agreeing. “Good idea.”  
“Really? Really?! Not pregnant are you?”  
“Oh, god. Don’t even think about it.”  
They had a little giggle, and Bianca went to make the tea.

Janet came up behind her, put her arms around her and leaned her head between her shoulders. “You’re good for me, Grieve.” She paused, then added. “I want to be good for you, too.”  
Bianca went on making the tea. “Hopefully, we can be good for each other. Is forever too long?”  
Her lover tightened her hold, nuzzled into her shoulders. “Forever is a very long time.”


	7. Chapter 7

A whole day! What was left of it, found them subdued yet intensely connected. Janet opened up about Ash, but also wanted to know about Bianca. She knew that her parents still lived in Canberra, and Bianca had stayed with them when work had taken her there. And now she had met Linda, but were there things she found hard to revisit? 

Bianca confided that, even almost twenty years on, the devastation of losing her older sister could still overwhelm her. Hannah had died from anaphylactic reaction to bee stings. They had not known she was allergic. The three sisters were close, and It had taken Linda and Bianca a long time to get back to something approaching normal. There were other sad things, but nothing like the horror of Ash’s death had ever happened in her life.

So much to learn about each other. Afternoon stretched into evening. Talk, tears, hugs - until well past dinner time. By then they were emotionally drained, not very interested in food. No cooking, a small snack would do. When they had finished, they settled on the lounge, wine in hand, to watch Call the Midwife. Bianca covered her face during a difficult birth scene. “So glad I’ve never gone through THAT! No wonder you don’t want to even think about being pregnant again.”

Janet laughed. “It does fade with time, but I sure as hell wouldn’t go through it again.”  
“That woman only had one. Bloody hell, Janet, you had twins!!”  
“We wanted two kids. Just as well we got them in one go, ‘cos no way would I have done it again. Tough job having them, tough job raising them, but I wouldn’t swap any of it.”  
“Except to have Ash.”  
Janet moved closer, no tears left, grateful that Bianca didn’t feel Ash came between them.

Call the Midwife finished and Bianca yawned. “I’m worn out. I reckon it’s bedtime.”  
“Me, too. Is it weird to say a day of lots of sadness and tears has been wonderful?”  
“If it is, then I’m weird, too.” She drew Janet to her feet. “To bed, we need sleep.”  
“We do. I’m bushed, too.”

They slept late, woke up hungry and opted for the hearty breakfast. Poached eggs and baked beans on toast. The mess all cleaned up, it was shower time, which inevitably led back to the bedroom.

Janet ran her fingers through her lover’s hair, still damp from the shower. “It’s so good to have you back in my bed.”  
“It’s so good to be back in your bed. I didn’t expect it to happen for quite a while.”  
“And you’re okay with being here?”  
Bianca kissed the tip of her nose. “I just said so!”  
Janet rolled her eyes. “You’re being a smart-arse again.”  
“Yeah. Can’t help myself.” A searching kiss. “I’m more than okay with being here.”  
“That’s a relief. I’m glad I told Mum she didn’t need to bring the kids home this morning.”  
“So am I. I do love them, but there’s another kind of love on my mind.”  
Janet smirked. “Really? Do tell!”  
Bianca’s turn to eye roll. “Now who’s being the smart-arse?” She breathed in Janet’s ear, knowing it always drove her crazy. “Better to show than tell.”  
“Bianca Grieve, you drive me crazy.”  
With a smile of satisfaction, Bianca pinned her lightly by the wrists, kissing her until they were out of breath. No more banter.

Breakfast had been so late that they skipped lunch and went for a walk instead. When they got back there was just time for tea/coffee, crackers and cheese before Janet had to pick up the twins.  
Bianca gathered her stuff - one last clingy hug, a goodbye kiss, and they went their separate ways.

It had been a particularly stressful day at work, and Janet was looking forward to a quiet night. Robyn was busy, so Rose had collected the twins from school. She was eager to get going as soon as Janet got home. “I have to rush, Janet. Got a meeting tonight.”  
“Of course. Off you go. Thanks for sorting the kids.”  
“No prob. Catch you later.”

Emma was watching TV and didn’t come to hug Janet. What was going on? Where was Liam?  
“Where’s Liam, Em?”  
Emma didn’t look at her. “Upstairs.”  
Janet walked over to her. “Is something wrong, Em?Before her daughter could answer, Liam came charging down the stairs and cannoned into his mother, fists flailing. “You lied! You lied! Jack saw you at the beach with Bianca. Why didn’t you take us?”

Shocked to the core, Janet took him by the shoulders and held him off. “Liam, Liam. Stop shouting.” She tried to cuddle him, but he struggled and kept shouting. “You lied!”  
What on earth was she to say? Suddenly he collapsed in a sobbing heap against her. Now she could hold him tight.

Emma had turned off the TV. Her face was white, eyes deep pools of confusion. “Why didn’t Bianca want us to come? She said she loved my card. She lied, too. She does hate me.”

Janet’s head felt as if it would explode. What a disaster! How could their young minds understand the adult reasoning that chose to keep them out of the trial reunion?

Freeing one arm so as to draw Emma into the hug, she sat them down. And now tears were rolling down Emma’s face, too. She wriggled free, went to get tissues, dried her eyes and blew her nose. Liam was still sobbing. Janet thought her heart would break. Gently lifting his head, she tried to dry his eyes, but he pushed the tissues away and buried his head again. Gradually the sobs subsided, he took the tissues and blew his nose. Misery had replaced fury, his face crumpled in bewilderment.

Devastated by the turn of events, Janet sat holding her children. From being frozen, her mind began to race. Where could she start? What would they best understand? Kissing the top of each head, she made a start.

“But you were staying longer with Nana so you could have fun with Milly. There will be lots of other times to go to the beach.”  
Emma frowned. “But you went with Bianca.”  
Liam jumped in. “Yeah. If I knew that, I would go.”  
Emma agreed. “So would I.” Still confused, she went on. “And why did you go with Bianca anyway?” She went to get a glass of water and sat at the table, brooding over the glass.

Liam saw a possibility. “Are you gonna fix things?”  
“We’re working on it, but don’t get your hopes up.”

Emma came back and sat with them. “Now it’s not a secret, will Bianca come over?”  
Liam brightened up. “Yeah, she can come back now.”  
“I will talk to Bianca later, and we’ll work something out.”  
Not good enough for her son. “Why can’t we talk to her now?”  
“You will have to wait a bit longer, Liam. I will talk to her first. Now it’s time to get dinner.”

Emma mumbled that she wasn’t hungry. Liam said neither was he. Janet won them over with the offer of pizza from the freezer.  
“What do you reckon? We’ll do two, so you both get to choose a topping. They’ll be done in twenty minutes and we can all share.” A school night treat. Just what was needed.

Their attention diverted, Janet changed the subject to homework. Yes, they had finished everything, and Rose had helped with maths. 

Over pizzas, she got them chatting about Finn, and agreed that they could use the laptop to watch the videos Deb had sent, which kept them occupied until it was time for bath and bed.

Exhausted from the emotional upheaval, Liam fell asleep before Janet had finished reading one page. Emma wasn’t interested in continuing the story, wanting to talk about Bianca. Janet smoothed back her hair, and kissed her forehead. “Come and snuggle on my bed and we’ll talk about it.”

After going through the whole hate thing again, Emma seemed to accept Janet’s assurances. The little girl really was as tired as her brother, but she tried to convince her mother to let her talk to Bianca. “You could ring her now. I could tell her we want her to come over.”  
Janet cuddled her. “Do you think it would it be fair to Liam for you to talk to her while he’s asleep?”  
“I guess not.”  
“Try to go to sleep now. You don’t want to be falling asleep at school. Would you like to stay here, just for tonight?”  
Emma nodded, yes she would.  
“Right, in you get. I’ll sit with you till you get to sleep.” Five minutes was all it took, but she stayed half an hour, trying to clear her mind before talking to Bianca.


	8. Chapter 8

How were they going to resolve this? The twins would be expecting them to “fix” everything, but could they? Certainly they were building a better foundation. 

With Emma settled, Janet went downstairs intending to call Bianca. She was still pondering the situation, her mind far from clear, when her mobile buzzed. 

“Bianca. You okay?”  
“That’s what I want to ask you. I’ve got this horrible feeling that something’s not right.”  
“You must be psychic. We have a problem. One of Liam’s friends saw us at the beach.”  
“Oh, no! How bad is it?”  
“It was very bad. Liam was out of control, calling me a liar. Em, quietly shattered, saying you really do hate her, and you lied, too. Both wanted to know why we didn’t take them.”  
“Oh, god, Janet. What did you say? How are they now?”  
“I reminded them that they chose to stay with Mum because of Milly. Both of them said they would have come if they’d known you were there. They’re confused, want to know if we’re going to sort things out. Fix things, as Liam puts it. They wanted to talk to you there and then. And Em asked will you come over, now that it’s not a secret - her words.”

Bianca’s head was reeling. “Shit, Janet. What a mess. How are you? Do you want me to come now?”  
“No. Much as I would love a hug. Let’s work out what to do, what to tell them, and they can call you in the morning. Not much time before school, so you won’t get bogged down.”  
“That won’t work. I have an early start ahead of a long day.”  
“Oh, bugger! Then we’ll have think of something else.”

As Janet filled her in on all the details of what had happened, the scramble in Bianca’s head gradually cleared. They went through a range of possibilities, trying to find an approach that would satisfy the twins without committing the two lovers to a permanency they were not quite ready to embrace. Amidst it all, Bianca’s focus kept returning to Emma’s eagerness to have her back. She must be careful not to blow it.

“Once we decide what to tell them, how about I do a voice memo for each of them? That way they won’t feel we’re putting them off.”  
“Oh, yes! Great idea. Now we just need to figure out what to say.”  
“I think we should make a commitment to them that we will always be friends.”  
“Agreed.” Janet’s voice softened. “Not sure I could be around you and just be friends, though.”  
Just the thought made Bianca wince. “Me, too. But no matter what, I will never walk out on them again. If that’s uncomfortable for us somewhere down the track, so be it.”  
Janet lightened the mood. “I like the track we’re on. No derailments allowed!”  
“None! And now I need to go do those messages so I can email them for you to check.”

It was no easy task. At first she had tried to explain things to them, but each try ended up convoluted and confusing. In the end she focused on each child without any mention of her relationship with their mother. An hour, and countless deleted tries later, Bianca was at last satisfied with the recordings. Confident that Janet would be happy with them, too, she sent them off.

Listening to her lover talking to her children gave Janet goosebumps. The messages were just right for each child.

“Hey, Em. I’ve made this recording for you because I have to start work early tomorrow, so we can’t talk before you go to school. I’m so looking forward to catching up with you and Liam, then we can have a good chat about everything. Em, please believe I didn’t lie. I do love your card. It’s still on show, along with Liam’s. It might be a few days before I can come over because I’m really busy at work. Meanwhile, how about you think of something fun that you’d like us to do together. Just you and me. I need to get some sleep now. Have a great day at school.”

“Hey, Liam. I can’t talk to you in the morning, mate, ‘cos I have to start work early. So I’m making this recording on the phone, like we did when you practised for the school assembly. I’m looking forward to catching up with you and Emma, and we can have a good chat about everything. I’m gonna be busy at work for a few days, but I’ll come over as soon as I can. I reckon you might have some new computer games we can play together. And I can’t wait for us all to be able to go to the beach. It’s time for me to get some sleep now. Have a great day at school.”

She listened to them again, then rang Bianca.  
“Hey, darling.”  
Bianca grinned. “Yeah, hey. What do you think?” “Just right. You nailed it for both of them. I thought you were going to explain why we kept them out of it.”  
“I tried. Lots of times, and it was awful every time. I decided it might be better to go forward instead.”  
“Well, you got that right. I think they’ll both be happy with it, and they’ll love being able to listen over and over again.”  
“I do need to go to bed. Have to be ready for the long day.”

They indulged in a little banter about how much they wished they could be together in that bed, then said good night.

Emma opened her eyes, disoriented for a moment at not being in her own bed. Then she remembered the promised call to Bianca, jumped out of bed and went to wake Liam. “Wake up Liam. Come and ring Bianca.” Her brother pulled the covers over his head, and turned over. Emma dragged back the covers, shook him. “Get up! Mum won’t let me talk to Bianca while you’re asleep.” Now he was wide awake! 

Together they rushed downstairs, both talking at once as they got to Janet in the kitchen. She turned from making coffee to hug them both to her. “Hey, hey, hey. Stop! I have a surprise for you.”  
Liam couldn’t contain himself. “What surprise? We want to talk to Bianca.”

Janet explained Bianca’s early start. Two young faces fell to ground in disappointment. Again, they started to talk at the same time. Again, Janet shushed them. “I know it’s not the same, but Bianca has sent voice messages for you.” They both looked doubtful, disappointment not overcome.  
Still hugging them, Janet walked them to the computer. Her phone was next to it and she set up Liam on the computer, Emma on the lounge with the phone. 

Disappointment dissipated as they listened to Bianca on their headphones. Emma played the message a few times then went over to Liam and nudged him. He paused his message and took off the headphones. “What?”  
“Can I listen to your message?”  
“No! It’s for me.”

Janet was quick to intervene. “Liam, don’t you want to hear Em’s message?”  
He thought about that. Of course he did! Still reluctant, he swapped with his sister. In the end they were chattering excitedly and Emma was going through a whole list of possibilities she could ask to do with Bianca. Liam was quite satisfied with the prospect of playing his new games with her.

Janet texted Bianca. “They love it. So far, so good”. Time to get the twins back on track for school.

Later that night the two women talked on the phone, relieved that the situation was under control, at least for now. As usual, Janet’s day had been frantic, and Bianca had another early start, so they cut it short.

Each day the twins wanted to know if Bianca would be coming over, becoming increasingly impatient as the days passed. She had hoped to get time off mid-week, but Friday was her first chance to visit. 

Another Friday. But no weekend off this time. For a few moments she indulged in the memory of the previous Friday. The romance, the passionate night, the leisurely love-making next morning. Then there was the beach - what fun it had been, but what turmoil it triggered. Still, perhaps for the best. Time to stop with the nostalgia, throw a few things in a bag and head over to catch up with two very excited children. 

When she arrived, they were both unexpectedly reserved, almost shy. Even Liam. Seemed they didn’t quite know how to behave. She dropped her bag, held her arms wide, and with her biggest smile asked, “Well, do I get a hug?”

Risky business, but it was okay - they both responded by rushing to her outstretched arms for a bear hug. The first ever from Emma! They then proceeded to talk at once, until Bianca kissed the top of each head and called a halt. “Hey, my ears can’t cope! Plenty of time to talk. Anyway, what’s for dinner?”

Pizza delivery, due any minute. All their favourite toppings to share. The delivery arrived, right on time. The twins’ excitement bubbled over and Janet had to keep reminding them to eat. Liam wanted to get out his new games right away, but that was quickly squashed. Cheeky kid grinned broadly. “Was worth a try, Bibi.”  
Bibi - back to normal. How sweet it was. No mention of how upset they’d been at being left out.  
She turned to Emma. “Is there something you’d like to do, Em?”  
“I would like to go ice skating. Could we do that?”  
“Oh, yes! I love ice skating. We’ll go as soon as I can get it organised.”

With the kids finally asleep, it was their turn. Bianca got out the glasses, intending to pour wine, but Janet put them away again, kissed her and slowly unbuttoned her shirt. “God, I’ve missed you. And this.”  
Bianca gave her a smouldering look. “Even more than wine! Honoured, I’m sure. And it hasn’t even been a week!” She wound her fingers through her lover’s hair, drawing her into a long, increasingly urgent kiss. Her hands soon went exploring, unzipping Janet’s dress, dropping it to the floor. The bra followed, hard nippled breasts revealed, taking her breath away. Janet whispered in her ear. “Take me to bed.”

In the calm after the storm of their love-making, Janet snuggled into Bianca’s back, one arm draped over her, hand placed to feel the beating of her heart. “I love to feel the beat of your heart.” Bianca leaned back against her. “I love to feel yours, too.” She turned over, rested her head over Janet’s heart. “And to hear it.” Janet ran her fingers through the dark hair falling over her breast. “The kids seem okay. You were great with them. And they didn’t even get into where things are with us.” Bianca moved to rest face to face with her lover, kissing the tip of her nose.  
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. There’s quite a way to go yet.”  
Janet yawned. ”Maybe not too far.” And, with a lingering kiss, “Time to sleep. Love you.”  
“Love you, too.”


	9. Chapter 9

Ice-skating was a huge success, and Emma was bursting with excitement when they got home. “Mum, we had so much fun!” She turned to Bianca. “Didn’t we, Bibi?”  
Bianca was equally delighted. “We sure did. And you got the hang of it much quicker than I did on my first go.”

Emma beamed. “It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.” She grimaced. “Well, the ICE was hard, the couple of times that I fell!”  
Bianca laughed. “And wet.”  
Emma screwed up her nose. “Yeah. But it was worth it.”

Liam wanted to know, “Did you skate out in the middle by yourself?”  
“No, just near the rail. Bibi took me in the middle. When we go again, I’m trying by myself.”  
Her brother grinned wickedly. “You might fall and get wet again.”  
Emma was still too excited to be bothered by the teasing. “And I might not. Gonna have a go anyway.”

Bianca broke in. “Sorry guys, gotta go. I’m on duty this arvo. You get another turn tomorrow night, Liam. Get your games ready!”

Emma gave her a big hug. “Thanks for taking me, Bibi.” Bianca hugged her tight. “I loved it. Thanks for being such a good sport.” Liam fronted up for a hug, too, then Janet shooed them off upstairs - Emma to get changed, and Liam to clean up his mess in their room.

She dropped her forehead on Bianca’s shoulder. “Must be my turn for a hug.”  
Bianca tipped her chin and kissed her lightly. “I can hardly believe the change in Em.”  
Janet leaned against her for the hug. “Yeah, such a relief that she’s over the insecurity.”  
“I really do have to go. See you tomorrow night. Should I bring noodles?”  
“Nah, we’re making curry tonight. There’ll be enough for tomorrow night, too.”  
“Mmm I can taste it already. Something to look forward to.”  
“is that all you’re looking forward to?”  
Bianca smirked. “Why? Is there something else?”  
“Smart-arse. Get outta here.”  
“Have to.” She tipped Janet’s chin again, a thorough kiss this time, then breezed out the door.

The minute she arrived next night, Liam was at her to come good on her promise. She laughed out loud and tousled his hair. “Good try, mate. Dinner first, then we play. Where’s that curry?”  
Emma was busy helping Janet in the kitchen. “Right here, and it’s soooo yummy.”  
Bianca put an arm around the child, at the same time leaning over Janet’s shoulder. “Mmmm, it sure smells good.” Janet turned for a quick peck. “Yep, should be even better second time around.”

Both children were clamouring for Bianca’s attention throughout the meal. Emma was on about the skating, and when they might go again, as well as wanting to show Bianca her art and her new library books. As expected, Liam was focused on computer games, but he had to try to keep up with his sister, so threw in that he had Lego that needed building. Normally they would have been constantly reminded to eat, but this time the women kept that to a minimum, soaking up Emma’s enthusiasm for Bianca’s attention. All the while, across the chatter, the charged looks, silent promises.

The twins joined forces, begging to be allowed to stay up and watch a movie. Liam was prepared to forego the games with Bianca. Janet pretended to resist, finally “giving in”, not letting on how happy she and Bianca were to prolong the unity. But it all had to come to an end, and two tuckered out kids were finally asleep.

Janet, sprawled in the corner of the lounge. “What a marathon, but it was fun.”  
Bianca, eyes brimming with emotional tears, pulled her to her feet. “It was more than fun. I’m feeling quite overwhelmed.” Janet undid the pony tail, held her lover’s face in her hands, her voice husky with emotion, “Love you, woman. Love that my kids love you, too.” A tear escaped, rolled down Bianca’s cheek. Janet gently wiped it away, kissed the misty eyes and shared the salt of the tears in a tender kiss. “So, now how do you feel about belonging?”  
“Amazing, isn’t it? Even more than I ever dreamt of.” 

They held each other in a quiet hug of comfort and security until Bianca stirred, murmured in Janet’s ear, “Should I have been looking forward to something other than the curry?”  
That got them giggling, kissing, whispering, and heading for the bedroom.

Over the next few weeks, they were right back into the reality of fitting a relationship around their work schedules. To ease the pressure, Bianca stayed over more often, which pleased the twins no end. Emma even got to go ice-skating again, managing to skate out in the middle by herself without falling. A feat she was very quick to share with her brother, who was suitably impressed.

That night, out of the blue, in the middle of dinner, she asked, “Are you going to get married?”  
Completely taken aback, the two women held a questioning gaze. Were they? It hadn’t been discussed, but each had certainly thought about it.  
Liam had to have his say. “Yeah! Then Bibi would be here all the time.”

Janet regained her composure. “Why do you ask that, Em?”  
“Some of the kids at school were talking about it. And like Liam said, Bibi would be here all the time.” She chewed on her lip, “And you mightn’t be so grumpy.”

Bianca laughed. “So it’s grumpy when you don’t get your own way, is it?” Emma went very red in the face, started to protest, but Bianca kept on, her tone light-hearted. “Come on, Em, nothing would change much if I were here more.”  
Janet joined in, also keeping it light. “And you might get sick of Bibi backing me up. Think of that!”

Liam chuckled. Emma started to glare at him, thought better of it and joined in. Not to be deterred, she went back to the question that neither of the women could answer. Her mother fobbed her off. “We’re not thinking about that right now. Maybe one day.” 

When the twins were finally asleep, skating excitement done, Liam’s games played, Janet put her arms around Bianca, buried her head in her shoulder. Running the back of her fingers gently from Janet’s cheek to her chin, Bianca kissed her softly. “I think the kids are on to something.”  
“Could be. Not an option yet anyway.”  
“But it will be if the referendum is successful. November is not far off. Do you want to?”  
“Do you?”

By now they were sitting up close on the lounge. The little half-smile played around Bianca’s mouth. “I asked first.”  
Janet gave her the rolled-eyes. “Yes. If you do.”  
The little smile turned into a grin. “Roll on November.”  
“If the vote fails, we can always cross the ditch.”  
“I wouldn’t say no to a holiday in New Zealand, but the vote is NOT going to fail!”  
“Did we just decide to get married?”  
“I think we did.” She quoted Janet’s words. “Forever - a very long time.”


End file.
